Some Bad Luck

sneeply:

thegreat-repetition:

If you’re offended by slut shaming, you’re probably a slut.

this is it. the final frontier of idiocy. i have found it. where’s my medal

(via springtiermeulin)

sluttyoliveoil:

once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”

(via laugh-until-you-drop)

hitlervevo:

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

i hate this site

(via korras-vagina)

justacleverruse:

my parents have been on a diet since november and my mom has been making this dish that’s like low fat tomato sauce on top of spaghetti squash except she calls it spaghetti something or another and whenever I sit down at the table I go “this isn’t spaghetti, it’s an impasta!” and just cackle like a fucking hyena for 30 seconds

(via springtiermeulin)

tupacabra:

when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay

(via thewalkingwolves)

iamtonysexual:

jonandtheon:

jonandtheon:

jonandtheon:

MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN

RED ASLERT

I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??

update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost

He’ll be vital to your quest later, don’t forget about him.

(via destiel)